Brian Wilson

hello Professor Longus,

I write this letter to you by candlelight, as the power has cut off in the girls dormatory. Forgive me for spelling errors, seeing as you are an English teacher and all. Over the course of last term I began to feel..feelings for you. Feel emotion beyond the admiration and respect the other pupils have for you. I feel as if I am developing strong and loving feelings for you Professor, feelings I can no longer mask. I also suspect you reciprocate these feelings to an extent, and if I am wrong I apologize for my assumption. I only speak of this because of the way your eyes seem to shimmer when I walk into the classroom, and the times I caught you staring at my blouse. Your soothing and beautiful way with words and poetry brings a tear to my eye, as well as your commitment to Shakespeare. I am Juliet, Professor Longus and you are my Romeo. Perhaps I am being too bold but dare I suggest we meet one night for "extra credit" and see what power the moon has over our desires? The other issue of course is your Wife and Mother to your children, Prudence. I will never forget meeting Prudence at the school Christmas party and staring in disbelief at the women you had bethrothed. Rude as it may sound, she resembles the frog I dissected in lab last week. Oh Professor, I long for you to read poetry to me, for your strong and masculine arms to hold me. I dream of you every night and even keep a small picture of Shakespeare in my locker as a tribute to you. Please have the courage to write back to me. I love you Professor Longus.

Love eternally,

Abigal Porter

barely legal

damn my mom is such a fucking bitch. she thinks she can control me and shit, i dont fucking think so. i'm a grown ass women and i can do whatever the fuck i want whenever i want. if i wanna stay out and get drunk with my friends whats the big deal??? i'm young n sexy and i wanna be wild before i'm all old and shit. if i wanna fuck some guys its cool because i use condoms and even when i dont they pull out so im gonna be fine. i told my mom that and she started to cry! would she rather have a lame ass virgin daughter who cant fuck?? shit, i dont even understand the big deal. i aint addicted to shit and i'm not homeless so whats wrong with a little drinkin n fuckin once and a while?? a little weed here and there also,maybe some coke but only for special occasions like xmas and shit. i'm about to punch my mom in the fucking face and she deserves it seriously for trying to control me like hitler and shit. I AM 16 YEARS OLD, I AINT 12!!!!! my mom should be proud to have such a sexy daughter..i mean i look good what can i say, it aint my fault men like to look at my body and shit. if i wanna wear a bikini top around detroit i can cuz i look good and i dress however the fuck i want. my moms so fucked up, shes jealous of me or something cuz shes all old and boring now and i get men everywhere i go.

animal crackers

Every once and a while I like to go down to Pawtucket River and skip stones. On friday nights I usually go down to "Bessies Bar"for a whiskey or 2. Same thing Saturday and Sunday night for the most part. Got me a real nice women at home,Laura Sue. Used to be a real beauty for she had kids. Sometimes I get a glimpse of how she looked back in High School,prettier then a rose that girl was. Life on the road aint easy, don't get me wrong. I'm gone every couple a weeks,delivering all kinds of shit to every place imaginable. My specialty is Arcade Machines. Those shits is heavy and not every guy can handle one. I remember one time I dropped one on my foot and broke it. John Harrow had a real hoot n holler that day. See,me and John been in a competition of sorts for damn near 3 years. He thinks he can drive faster and further then me,but anyone who seen me drive knows damn well I drive faster then a tumbleweed in a hurricane. He beat me once, and that sonofabitch will never let anyone forget it.