kidney,now!

Lima beans rained from the heavens,each child opened their mouth wide for a taste of decadence. The adults were all cupping their hands and grabbing every bean they could. Yes Tommy, this was a different time. A time of famine,a time of adaptation. Things were not the way they were and were they the way they are before? Of course not! With each bean came a special message,seen only by the town beauty, Anastasia. She could not read though, her beauty prevented her from an education as she was pregnant almost every 4 months. See Tommy, back then pregnancy was 4 months and each month was a chance for the growing being to become a better dancer. Dancing was what it was all about, oh yes! But more importantly the homeless had taken control of all the sewage systems. You couldn't pee without performing in those days. To pee meant to perform, hence the Lima beans. I remember doing a majestic and moving piece to a old Indian song and the homeless man guarding bowl 77 merely smirked and danced back,eyes ablaze. I couldn't outdo him Tommy, I couldn't. Scrapleg Mcgee was his name. Oh he was a rough one, a true soldier of the sun. The sun wore funny little glasses when I was a young man. Dark glasses all day, all night. He could never really see..or so I thought. One day I caught him staring at me,looking me up and down like a piece of meat. It was then I realized that the sun was not a he at all! He was just a dandelion like everything else in the sky. I laughed and shrugged, oh well so much for porridge today!

Latin Lettuce

I walked down the first aisle,looking for her picture. I knew a thing or two about a thing or two. I took a mental picture of the Indian guy touching himself. Something was off with that one. Down the stairs were the peep shows. Part of me was excited,part of me was disgusted. I didnt know who would be behind the curtain. I wanted it to be her but it was a dark want. I chuckled to myself,felt like I was a rookie again. I glanced down at my hands and saw the wrinkled lines of time,the dark jagged scars. No, certainly not a rookie. The black dude with the accent looks at me funny,maybe he knows I'm a cop. But I got a god damn right to be here,a right to be anywhere I choose. Something sticky on the floor. Best if I don't look down. I ask if she's there that night. The black guy nods and points to the third door on the right. I go in. I sit down. I put in my quarter. The music starts up,something by that fag Prince I think.

Vagina

I took a bite out of my apple and saw a little worm inside. He told me his name was Ted and he was looking for new land to settle on. I recommended Seattle (west coast) as they have a prominent rainfall, hence making the soil softer for my burrowing friend. But Ted was not pleased, yes the soil would be softer but the sky would be grayer. He longed for balance in a world of chaos and asked if I wouldnt mind letting him stay in the apple a bit longer. Care not I said the fly, and put the rest of the apple in my pocket. Later that night I heard a strange noise, I slowly opened my eyes and turned on the light. Ted was stealing from me! he weighed no more then a pencil eraser yet he was carrying my precious vaseline and my swedish massage textbook. We looked at each other for a second. A cold,stern glare between man and worm. Ted? I couldnt believe my Jewish eyes.