Vagina

I took a bite out of my apple and saw a little worm inside. He told me his name was Ted and he was looking for new land to settle on. I recommended Seattle (west coast) as they have a prominent rainfall, hence making the soil softer for my burrowing friend. But Ted was not pleased, yes the soil would be softer but the sky would be grayer. He longed for balance in a world of chaos and asked if I wouldnt mind letting him stay in the apple a bit longer. Care not I said the fly, and put the rest of the apple in my pocket. Later that night I heard a strange noise, I slowly opened my eyes and turned on the light. Ted was stealing from me! he weighed no more then a pencil eraser yet he was carrying my precious vaseline and my swedish massage textbook. We looked at each other for a second. A cold,stern glare between man and worm. Ted? I couldnt believe my Jewish eyes.