fuck you Steve Jobs

I'm upset by the lack of control and order I have over my emotions. I used to be able to rely on my impeccable sense of logic to help me through tough emotional times, but I find I use it less and less. My emotional side is beginning to seep into my logical side, and I'm scared that soon I won't be able to trust myself and how I feel about anything. There is a level of self sabotage we all keep buried inside us and fight, but mine has started to claw it's way to the surface. Although I am more confident in my choices then I have ever been, I find I also struggle with my definition of reality. The funny part is that I've never considered myself a dramatic person, in fact..I loathe people who crave and seek out negative drama in their life. Yet it seems I'm creating and building up personal/fictional drama in my head constantly, and not really acknowledging it because my logical side knows it's all bullshit. In conclusion I have no idea how I feel about anything in my life and beyond. I'm going to finish this blunt and shower, and perhaps scrub off a fraction of disdain.