who is the real Jose Luiz?

When I sit on the subway I like to look at Womens hands and see who's wearing a wedding and/or engagement ring. I often have to mentally picture my body turned towards theirs, so I can figure out if the ring is indeed on their left hand and they are betrothed. Jose Luiz (aka our good friend Ed) brought up a good thought. "Human behavioral patterns around puddles:" Who jumps, who glances at it and tries to get around, who dives right into the watery mess. I try to live my life constantly studying anthropology and it's turned riding the subway into a funded liberal organizations way of dissecting the human condition. The man with the tattoo on his face, the girl with huge lips smeared in red, the abusive ghetto ass mom trying to quietly smack her kids. The shit I've learned about humans from the subway alone calls for a celebration.
1) Everyone is slightly hurt when a person sitting next to them jumps up at the first sign of another vacant seat
2) Some couples choose to be really sexual in front of everyone. Mostly they are young Latinos.
3) I always feel really weird and sad when beggers get on the train and there are little kids around just watching them, confused.
4) The meaning of molestation has drastically changed in my book, or else I guess I get molested a little every day by whatever black man stands directly behind me on the 4/5.
5) ooooh girllll shock me like an electric eel! Babyguuurl, turn me on with your electric feel!