meatball madness

Here I am In paradise. Surrounded by lush greens,turquoise ocean,marble floors. I feel mixed emotions. I am so thankful and lucky and in awe that my life has brought me here. I also feel disgusted with myself,disgusted by others staying here. Most of the people of the Dominican Republic are living in poverty and filth, putting on matching hotel outfits every morning and working to cater to our every need. Disgusted as I am by this form of tourism, I have also become aware that without these giant resorts, thousands of people would not have jobs. Usually I could dismiss this feeling by reasoning that "I appreciate it and don't take this experience for granted." I can't do that this time. I am too aware at this point of all the suffering and misery spread across the world. My eyes are too open to the fact that millions of people live without fresh water or food. There is enough food at the breakfast buffet alone to feed this country and perhaps a little of Belize. I am enjoying myself, don't get me wrong. But when I lived in Costa Rica I lived on the other side of tourism. I was pretty much broke, and friends with local people who worked at the major hotels. I heard about the bad pay,the fucked up outfits, the rude rich people from Germany. And here I am, one of them. It's an interesting change, one I'm not sure I could do again. This strange resort life has made me question a lot about myself and the person I hope to become. I suppose what eases my mind is that my Dad is having a great time and hey it's his hard earned money which he can spend however he chooses. All I'm saying is, if they used wood instead of marble for the floors then perhaps less people here would be living in houses made from tin.

ps: I have never seen so many old men in speedos in my life. I can only pray that these images do not haunt me.